Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
