Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
