I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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