the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
