i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You left your underwear on the fireplace
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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