I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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