i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
