I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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