gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
