Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
