I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
