So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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