I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
