Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
