If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
