This dress was meant to end up on your floor
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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