i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
