summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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