in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
