Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just want nice things and good sex
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
