he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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