Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
