David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
