talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
People with herpes should wear stickers.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
