I just pynch a tree in the face
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
