I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
