1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
