if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
