they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Randomize
