how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
