I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
