That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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