I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
