Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
