can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
