He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
