K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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