I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
