every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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