the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
