Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
