So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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