i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
