You're my little dorito
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
