I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
