I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
