At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
