if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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