Just mADE A PArabola og urine
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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