i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
